2/28... Narcissistic... Hitching Hook

Greetings Everyone...

🎵"ThinkI better let it go... Looks like another love TKO"

                                  Teddy Pendegrass 

Its a new month. Tell God Thank you for allowing us to see to be in the beginning of another month of 2023.

A narcissistic person has many traits. One of the traits is they are only concerned about themselves. Whatever they are involed in, it is never meant to benefit anyone but them. To actually think that they are sincerely genuine is a hoax. Everything they do comes with a hidden agenda with only one person in mind... Them..

One of their hidden agendas is their charming personality. In the beginning mere words can not explain the outpour of charm displayed. It is so much like a dream come true until... Thats what I call the hitching hook. 

Once they have you hitched, it is on from that point on.  

They begin to show the narcissistic side. They only talk about themselves and their accomplishments. They are not concerned about you and whatever joy you may experienced or want to share, because they are not at the least interested in you and anything about you outside of what you can do for them. They are always  me, me, me... Never WE.. This type of relationship is a very disturbing. It can destroy a person's peace.

There are several traits that I will be sharing throughout the week (s).  Please stay tuned

To be continued...

Have a Marvelous Monday...

Let's Talk About It with Valerie

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*If negative energy should come your way today, don't debate it, simply look at it and say NOT TODAY as you walk away...and as always Peace and Blessings 😉

2/27... Learning the traits of Narcissistic Person

Greetings Everyone...

🎵"Her pretty smile but she was bad but I didn't know it All I knew eas what I could see... Moma took me to the side and said...Take time to know her...

                             Percy Sledge 

Well, we are approaching the end of another month. Time is really going fast...

So, my son suggested that I discuss Narcissism...

At first I was a little hesitant because I didn't want to offend anyone, but as I thought about it, I agreed to share what I know and maybe help someone begin the process of release and live again... So for the next couple of days(weeks) I will share some signs of a narcissistic person, as well as, my personal experiences I endured being involed a narcissistic relationship.

                                      ............

Some of the traits that Narcissistic People have are self centered, manipulative, never wrong, and the list goes on.

                                  Pay Attention 

Have a wonderful Monday...

Let's Talk About It with Valerie

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*If negative energy should come your way today, don't debate it, simply look at it and say NOT TODAY as you walk away...and as always Peace and Blessings 😉

February 23.... Correction/Be Careful

Greetings Everyone...

🎵"I don't know everything, but there's domethings I do know"... Show You the Way to Go... The Jacksons

How many of us know that you can't give criticism to everyone??? Some consider it to be very offensive. I get that... My question is... Why???

What is it about being corrected that offends us. Could it perhaps be that we have become so sensitive and defensive that we feel as though we are not pron to being wrong? I do understand that we may not want to be wrong, but let's be realistic. There is not a single person on this planet that has never been wrong about something. That's impossible... Again I say, there is no way we can live in an imperfect world and be perfect. Nope... Not so... Not going to happen.

                              Need I say more... 

Have a wonderful transforming Thursday...

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*If negative energy should come your way today, don't debate it, simply look at it and say NOT TODAY as you walk away...and as always Peace and Blessings 😉

February 22... Corrective Criticism

Greetings Everyone...

🎵"I don't care who's wrong or right, I don't really want to fight no more" Tina Turner 

                                          ❓❓❓

         Are you receptive to constructive criticism?

Oftentimes we as humans have a tendency to wear our feelings on our sleeves. We are oftentimes offended by one word.. CORRECTION ...Whenever someone tries to correct us  we become offensive and confrontational.

Why is that? Could it be that we feel as though we are never wrong? Well, as hard as it may seem, we do get things wrong from time to time, and its ok. We're human and being human signifies that we are destined to errors.

Whenever someone approaches us by way of correction we should never jump to the conclusion that individual is criticizing because they are jealous of us. Nono.. Whenever someone has your best interest at heart approaches us by way of corrective criticism, we should embrace and learn from it. Understand everyone is not out to "get you". Sometimes being corrected is a form of improvement.

Take time to listen to what is being said. If it is to help improve, take the steps necessary to improve. If its not, don't get bent out of shape and go into tantrums, instead let it be be like water on a duck's back... Let it roll off and keep it moving.

And with that being said, have a wonderful Wednesday. Keep smiling. Accept constructive criticism when needed, make the changes that are needed, and enjoy the journey to success.

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*If negative energy should come your way today, don't debate it, simply look at it and say NOT TODAY as you walk away...and as always Peace and Blessings 😉

February 21... Communication/ Respect

Greetings Everyone...

🎵 "Talk to me... I open up my heart to you...  You're the Lover of my soul, the Captain of my sea"...

                   Open my Heart.. Yolanda Adams 

                                       ❓❓❓

What happens during a conversation/communicating  if the tone level changes? Does your tone level change also? Is anything accomplished?

Speaking in a calm voice allows one to build and achieve. Whenever communicating with others one should always remember in order to keep the other person's attention, one must speak at a level that is very easy to receive.

Understand, shouting and calling someone out of their names, causes that person to either shut down or shout back. And when this happens, no one walks away with understanding of what was being said. Instead of having a PROductive conversation, something that will bring about change, both parties oftentimes walk away angry and empty. In other words, UNproductive.

"A soft , gentle, and thoughtful answer(communication) turns away wrath(extreme anger). But harsh, painful, and careless words stirs anger.... The tounge of the wise speaks knowledge that is pleasing and acceptable".

                        Proverbs 15:1-2(AMP)

 

So, with👆🏾 as a reminder, which tone, when communicating with others, would you prefer? 

Think about it... 😊

And on that note... Have a terrific Tuesday. Keep smiling, speak with clarity, never assume, and try speaking in a tone where as both parties are respected and the message is receivable 😘

Let's Talk About It with Valerie

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*If negative energy should come your way today, please don't debate it, simply look at it and say...NOT TODAY

as you walk away...and as always Peace and Blessings

February 20, '23... Communication

Greetings Everyone...

Hopefully everyone had a wonderful weekend.

                           Happy New Week

Today on Let's Talk About It with Valerie, I want to discuss briefly about communication. O yeah, something that each of us fall short of doing from time to time. So if I was to give today a topic it would be "Active Listening "

 Active listener? To some it means to listen carefully to what is being said. Did you know that 

.                   Listen first....

Anytime when communicating, one should listen carefully, be very clear on what is being said, and never assume anything. (You know what the saying is for assunption... It will make an ... out of who and who)...? Yeah, that part.

                  Question afterwards....

 Get clarity of what is being said afterwards so that there is no confusion. If you don't understand, ask questions. For those of you that know me, know that I am good at asking questions. I will ask question after question until I am understanding clearly what is being said. One should never walk away without clarity.

              Think About It.... Have a marvelous Monday...

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*If negative energy should come your way today, don't debate it, simply look at it and say NOT TODAY as you walk away...and as always Peace and Blessings 😉

February 16... Learning Love/Happiness

Greetings Everyone...

🎶🎶"Happy feelings in the air, touching people everywhere"... Maze featuring Frankie Beverly

Well its almost the end of the week and oh boy am I happy about that 🙂

              Today we're going to discuss happiness. 

Whenever we learn to love ourselves, the first experience that many of us have or feel is happy. We begin to realize that our happiness does not lie in the hands or actions of another human being. We realize that our true happiness begins and ends with us. Waiting on someone else to make you happy is pointless. Why? Because if we were to rely on others to bring us happiness, there will be many days that will pass us by with unhappy feelings. Our energy level would be minimum. Our thoughts would be foggy, and our physical body would feel exhausted. We must realize that happiness is homemade. Its not something you can purchase from a store. Its something that already exists within ourselves.

We should begin to research ourselves deep within and find the thing that makes us happy. And once it is located, pursue it. Nothing ever happens until we make it happen... Think about it... Keep  smiling. Have a terrific Thursday... Find your happiness...

Let's Talk About It with Valerie

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*If negative energy should come your way today, don't debate it, simply look at it and say NOT TODAY as you walk away...and as always Peace and Blessings 😉

February 15... Learning/ Love Yourself...

Greetings Everyone...

🎵"The kind of love that want ever die.. nono never.. everlasting love"... Tony Terry 

Its Wonderful Wednesday. Hopefully everyone had a wonderful Valentine's Day and that the love you expressed on yesterday is running into today...

HAPPY DAY AFTER VALENTINE ..

NICE DAY TODAY... Hopefully everyone is having a wonderful day realizing that today is another LOVE DAY... The mere fact that WE were able to look into AND be partakes of another day, is love...another day to love ourselves and others with no restrictions and watch how it becomes a domino effect...

 

                                   Learning Love 

Each of us, at somepoint throught our day, need to be reminded of how unique we are. When God created each individual, the mold was broken. There's no one anywhere in this world that can do you better than you. And with that being said...You are loved...

Let's Talk About It with Valerie

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*If negative energy should come your way today, don't debate it, simply look at it and say NOT TODAY as you walk away...and as always Peace and Blessings 😉HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO ME...

NICE DAY TODAY... Hopefully everyone had/is having a wonderful day/evening... I had a very relaxing day... I loved on me inwardly and loved on others outwardly/genuinely... Not because of VALentine's Day/Evening ... nono,  but for the mere fact that WE were able to look into AND be partakers of another day...

 HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY/EVENING EVERYONE

                                    Learning Love 

Each of us, at somepoint throught our day, need to be reminded of how unique we are. When God created each individual, the mold was broken. There's no one anywhere in this world that can do you better than you. And with that being said...You are loved...

Let's Talk About It with Valerie

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*If negative energy should come your way today, don't debate it, simply look at it and say NOT TODAY as you walk away...and as always Peace and Blessings 😉Let's Talk About It with Valerie

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*If negative energy should come your way today, don't debate it, simply look at it and say NOT TODAY as you walk away...and as always Peace and Blessings 😉

February 14... Learning Love/ Manipulation

Greetings Everyone...

                    Happy Valentine's Day😘❤️

🎶"I'm in love, yes I am... My friends wonder whats come over me, I'm as happy as any girl could be"...        Queen of Soul.......Aretha Franklin 

It's that time of the year where we express our tokens of love towards our special someone, in our unique way. Whether it be roses, breakfast in bed, chocolates, with the teddy bear, ( we can't give chocolates without a teddy bear), a nice quiet evening at home with candles, nice dinner, and soft music playing in the background. Whatever way you decide to express love, remember to enjoy the moment...

Previously we discussed acceptance of others and how it is important that we accept others for who they are, where they are, at that particular place in their lives.

Today in "learning love", I want to discuss the difference in not getting love confused with manipulation. Love is patient, love is kind, love is understanding. Even when we don't receive the response that we were expecting, love always wins.. Being able to respond differently than expected is love also. 

Oftentimes when I was growing up, I would hear others say "if you love me, you will do this or that for me" Negative... That's not love, thats manipulation. 

Love has no restrictions/stipulations. Either you accept the respone or you don't, but it doesn't change the fact on whether or not that person loves you. Love is not always "YES". Nono... Love is also "NO"  Think about it,  if everything  was yes, what would "free will" represent? Understand, everyone's love language is not the same, but in the end, it is still love.

Love is kind not manipulated... Remember that...

Happy Valentine's Day again😘😘

Let's Talk About It with Valerie

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*If negative energy should come your way today, don't debate it, simply look at it and say NOT TODAY as you walk away...and as always Peace and Blessings 😉

May 22 ... Acceptance

Greetings Everyone...

🎶 Don't go changing trying to please me... I love you just the way you are... Barry White

Happy New Week... Its a new day, its a new way, and we should be feeling fine ... 

Acceptance... Ummm ... This is something that we are all in denial of. We say that we accept others for who they are, but in actuality, we don't.  We have a tendency to want to re-create another human being into what we want them to be. NEGATIVE... That's not going to happen. We can't re-create something that has already been created. 

Instead of us trying to change someone into being what we want them to be, we should learn to love and accept them for who they are, where they are, at that particular time in their lives. We must always reflect on how we were before we found our purpose. It was a process. Therefore, if it was a process for us, it has to be a process for them. And with processing, it takes some longer to comprehend. No one should ever say that another person will remain the same forever. Nono...

The same way process that we went through in order to come from minimum to maximum, that same rule of process applies to another individual. We should be more supportive of others process just as others were supportive of ours. Everything/ everyone has its own time and purpose. 

So, in moving forward, let us remind ourselves  of this ...

Have a Marvelous Monday... and as always

Peace and Blessings 😉

Let's Talk About It with Valerie

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*If negative energy should come your way today, don't debate it, simply look at it and say NOT TODAY as you walk away...and as always Peace and Blessings 😉

February 10, 2023... Super Bowl

🎵"im coming out, I won't the world to know got to let it show"..  Dianna Ross

Greetings Everyone... 

It's SUPER BOWL WEEKEND...

OH YEAH!!!! I am going for the EAGLES... Who are you going for?

Anywhooo...

Let's Talk About It... 

Our last discussion was based on the power of the mind. I had one viewer to ask me a question that I found to be interesting. The question was... "How do you change your thoughts ... Hmmm 🤔

Well, I was a little puzzled at first, but after careful thinking,  I then responded... "I can only speak from what worked for myself. What worked for me, may not work for you"

#1... I proceeded  to express the importance of changing the what I thought about myself. As I stated previously, there was a time in my life when I didn't love myself, but as I began to love on me, my thoughts changed and during the process, I realized that I also needed to...

#2... Change my surroundings. 

Oftentimes we remain in negative/toxic surroundings because of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of what others may think, etc. But, in order to make things better, I had to  first look at myself and free myself of unproductive surroundings. This took courage but if I wanted change, I had to...

                  

#3 Changed my associates... Yeah, I know this may seem harsh, but if dismissing some associates that does not have the same/similar visions as I had for myself, I  had to exit.. stage left. The change that I desired required full commitment in order to experience change in a reality format  Regardless of what others may have said/thought, at the end of the day the question I whould ask myself was... "How bad do I want it"...

Remember this👇🏽

Let's Talk About It with Valerie

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Mentor...

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*If negative energy should come your way today, don't debate it, simply look at it and say NOT TODAY as you walk away...and as always Peace and Blessings 😉

February 9, 2023... Change Your Thoughts

Greetings Everyone... Its Think about it Thursday 

🎵"Its been a long time coming, but I know change gonna come"... Sam Cooke

 Although change may not always feel good, change is good... I am not merely speaking on appearance. No no. I am speaking on changing the way you view things.Yes, one must realize that in order to get what you never had you must do something that you have never done. Now I am not in denial, I do know that Change to many may be hard but can I tell you again that change is not only needed, it is also good. Many may disagree, and that is your right. However, when COVID first embarked upon our lives, did we not have to change? We had to change our appearance (mask). We had to change how we greeted one another (bumping fist or elbows). We changed how we stood in lines(6ft. apart) And the list goes on. Whatever and however, change took place.

Such is life... Our thoughts concerning us must change in order to recieve what is intended for us. There is no Hocus Pocus to life. Absolutely not... We can/will only get the results in which we are trying to achieve by one simple step. 5,4,3,2,1... Changing our Thoughts...

 Michael Jackson has a song titled "Man in the Mirror". The lyrics to the song are very clear... "If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself then make that change".

Yes, we are the source that can make change a reality. Again I say, if we want something we never had, we must be willing to do something that we have never done. It all depends upon us and what we want to achieve. 

                              Proverbs 23:7

Starting today, let us begin tosearch deep within ourselves. Begin to search for our purpose. Begiin to  search for plans. Begin to search for peace. Search and  find YOU. Begin to leave the past behind and begin to live again. Afterwards,  pay close attention to  how "life with purpose" unfold from minimum to maximum, Come on, "make that change"...

Lets Talk About It with Valerie

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*If negative energy should come your way today, don't debate it, simply look at it and say NOT TODAY as you walk away...and as always Peace and Blessings 😉

February 8, 2023... Processing /Change your Thoughts

Greetings Everyone...

🎶"If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make that change"... 

                            Michael Jackson

Previosly...we talked about Trusting the Process 

There were 3 questions asked...

1. Have you ever settled for the sake of

2. Did you regret it

3. What did you do to become unsettled

Let's wrap this up ..

Another viewer shared her comment to question #3 by saying something that was very profound... She said her way of becoming unsettled was simple

                   "I CHANGED MY THOUGHTS"

GLORY!!! Now this comment is worth talking about.

Whenever one decides to change the way they think, their entire world changes. One begins to see life in a totally different perspective. Changing our thoughts can take us from thinking minimum capacity to maximum capacity. We will no longer over concern ourselves with others thoughts or opinions, instead, we will examine ourselves, put a plan of change in action and pursue that change by any means necessary.

Going through the process of change is never easy, but with determination and motivation one can and will complete the mission. Have a wonderful Wednesday 😁

Let's Talk About It with Valerie

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Mentor...

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Creative T-shirt Designer...

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*If negative energy should come your way today, don't debate it, simply look at it and say "NOT TODAY" as you walk away...and as always Peace and Blessings 😉

February 7, 2023... Processing/ Regrets

Greetings Everyone... Hopefully everyone had a pleasant weekend...

🎶"You got know when to hold 'em know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run"... 

 The Gambler...Kenny Rogers 

Previously, I asked 3 questions...

1. Have you ever settled for the sake of...

2. Did you regret it...

3. How did you become unsettled..

In asking these questions I learned from a viewers  point that settling for the sake of peace is how they settled in many situations. He said being right was not as important as his peace.

The next question that was asked was "did you regret settling"?. Well, another viewer responded with one word... NOPE... Well, me being me, I asked him to elaborate. His response was that he didn't regret it because the situation was  not moving foward. OMG... That response right there carried much weight. There comes a time in life where you must know when to hold and when to fold. Trying to validate your point while frustrated, never solves anything. Take a break... Calm down. Realize that neither one of you have to be right, but you must both come to an agreement. Once that is done, everything works in harmony...

What are your thoughts?

Let's Talk About It with Valerie

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Mentor...

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* If negative energy should come your way today don't debate it simply look at it  and say "NOT TODAY",as you walk away...and as always

Peace and Blessings 😉

February 6, 2023... Trust the Process (continued)

Greetings Everyone....

🎶"how many times must we give it one more try, before we really say goodbye" 

                Dionne Warwick/Luther Vandross 

Previously we discussed Trusting the Process. We learned that trusting the process was not always easy, but instead of settling for minimum results, if we trust the process, (which is Trusting God) we could have maximum results.

We also shared three questions...

1. Have you ever settled for the sake of

2. Did you regret settling

3. How did you become unsettled 

Interesting enough one viewer shared their thoughts concerning question #1 by commenting that they had settled for the sake of peace. O boy I really loved and respected that comment. It was so real and common. We, as a people, have at some point in our lives chose peace over being politically correct. Knowing when to hold and when to fold is the proper solution to making wise decisions.

Some may say in doing this it makes one appear weak. News flash... Would you rather appear weak with PEACE or appear strong with frustration... Think about it...

Have a wonderful day. Keep smiling. Be encouraged knowing that processing is not always easy, but it is rewarding... 

Let's Talk About It with Valerie 

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Mentor...

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*If any negative energy should come your way today, don't debate it, simply look at it and say NOT TODAY, as you walk away... and as always

Peace and Blessings 😉

February 3,2023... Trusting the Process (continued)

Greetings Everyone... Happy Friday... Happy Fry-Yay...

However you want to say it, we're just going to be happy.

Life is a process... Everything that we do is a process. Realize that nothing happens overnight. Something as simple as preparing for bed is a process.

Instead of trying to get into tomorrow before getting over today can sometimes cause one to find themselves settling for minimum when in actuality, if we would just trust the process, we could have the maximum.

How do you know that Valerie? Because...

"Our God said He is able to do exceedingly and abundantly above all that we could ever ask or think, (get this) ACCORDING to the power that lies within us.

Yes indeed, PROCESSS...

We must find what lies within us to receive the maximum... Process... Think about

Have a wonderful weekend. Keep smiling... and as always Peace and Blessings 😘

Let's Talk About It with Valerie

iambecoming0822@gmail.com

0830letstalk.blogspot.com

*Remember... Any negative energy that comes your way today, don't debate it simply look at it and say...Not Today as you walk away.

February 2, 2023... Trusting the Process

Greetings Everyone... Its Trusting Thursday...

🎶 "let's wait awhile before it's too late... before we go to far" Janet Jackson

Today we will be discussing Trusting the Process...

Trusting the process is not always easy. You may become angry, you may get rejected, and yes you may experience frustration. However/ whatever we may encounterjust realize that it is all a part of the process.

There are 3questions that I would like for us to think about and openly discuss what is all done/felt during the process.

1.. Have you ever setled for the sake of?

2.. Did you regret it?

3... How did you unsettled?

We can oftentimes extend the process by settling for minimum, when if we would have  a little more patience, we could move into the maximum.

Have a wonderful day. Keep smiling ...and as always

Peace and Blessings 😉

Let's Talk About It with Valerie

iambecoming0822@gmail.com

0830letstalk.blogspot.com

Mentor...

chetocab@treasuredpossesions.org

Mentor...

bookingcoretta@gmail.com

Creative T-shirt Designer

Wall's Design...252-327-4938

02-01-23. Penomenol Woman... Black History Month

Greetings Everyone...

Happy New Month and Happy Black History Month..

Black History is a time of reflection as to where we as African Americans have come from and a time of action  as to where we are headed.

Today I would like to pay special tribute to the women. Ladies if you're out there lend me your ears...I want to remind each of you just how special you are.  Whether you are African American, Hispanics, Caucasian, Asians, Italian, whatever your culture may be, You are BEAUTIFUL ..You are kind, you're unique, you're smart,  You are a prize above rubies. You're the Proverbs 31 woman,  that virtuous woman.

I say these things to because of your uniqueness. 

So as a reminder I would like to share with you a snippet of poem written by Dr. Maya Angelou  as a reminder of your uniqueness.

...

"Pretty Women often wonder where my secret lies.. I'm not cute or built to fit a fashion model size, but when I start to tell them, they say I'm telling lies, I say..

Its inthe reach of my arms, the span of my hips, the stride in my steps, the curve of my lips... I'm a woman, phenomenally, phenomenal woman, (now ladies point to yourself and say) that me"...

Remind yourself of this daily... You are extraordinary...

Have a wonderful day everyone, keep smiling

... and as always

Peace and Blessings 😉

Let's Talk About It

iambecoming0822@gmail.com

0830letstalk.blogspot.com

*If any negative energy should come your way today, don't debate it, simply look at it and say "not today" as you walk way...